I've been slowly working my way through a little book written by Robert Ellsberg entitled The Saints' Guide to Happiness. It was recommended by Phyllis and Ragan, and, although I am neither Catholic, nor an evangelical Christian, my life principles come from the Christian tradition, and this collection of thoughts has been wonderful for stirring me spiritually. Today I read Ellsberg's reflections on the transfiguration of Christ. (For those of you unfamiliar with the story, it is from the Christian scriptures in the New Testament of the Bible. It can be found in either Matthew 17: 1-13, or Mark 9: 2-13.) Each time I read about a miraculous event, before I can accept that it holds any significance for me, I first have to get myself over caring whether or not it actually happened. If I spend too much time in the literal versus symbolic debate, the high-pitched squeal of the internal feedback loop nearly sends me into seizures, and I'm useless for the rest of the day. So my almost newly trained reflex is a default to symbolic. This detours me around the time-space-physics questions, and gets me to the heart of the story.
This story is about seeing beyond the moment, stepping outside daily humdrum, and catching a glimpse of the bigger picture -- experiencing what really matters. It sent me to thoughts and feelings I had the other day while reading an email from a friend in New York. We were trying to find a time to see each other for a few days this summer, and he attached a list of his professional engagements. It included words and phrases like: "Carnegie Hall", "National Symphony", "State Department Engagement", "Las Vegas", "Julliard", and "Queen Mary 2". All I could put on my list was: "Move kids into their apartments in August." I felt so mundane, so Plain Jane, so middle class.
Stay with me . . .
His email was my time on the mountain with Jesus. My friend's wonderful career, his success, his full and busy life, became my moment of enlightenment. My glimpse of Jesus, with Moses and Elijah standing alongside him, chatting about things that matter -- ethereal, eternal intangibles -- not wasting energy on the blase' tasks and urgent little grass fires that are always popping up, but concentrating on moving beyond, transcending life's trifles. Of course, it's ridiculous, even misguided to assume that meaning is only found in big accomplishments and mountaintop spiritual moments. In fact, the best stuff is often found in the little things. But I desire an openness to, and an awareness of significance when it presents itself in a situation. That's my goal: opening myself to meaningful moments. Stringing together epiphany upon epiphany, so that, eventually, it all matters. No wasted thought, no wasted action.
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